Limiting beliefs…our internal saboteurs

«…if people really believe they cannot do something, they are going to unconsciously find a way to keep the change from occurring. They’ll find a way to interpret the result to conform to their existing belief»

We all have an inner desire for personal development - to make full use of our knowledge and potential - both in our private life and in our working life. We all want a life we ​​can call "fulfilling" and "exciting" and "rewarding". You can have a clear and conscious thought and idea where you want to go - or a more vague inner search that you want something more. Then it can be useful for you to define the goal early on. The brain will then unconsciously begin to align itself with this goal.

We all have challenges with inner saboteurs (or the common English term "limiting beliefs"): ours inhibit our own development with inner inhibitions and limiting beliefs about ourselves. If these thought patterns are objectively correct reflections of your knowledge and values, then it can contribute positively, but very often we have limiting thought patterns about our own values, characteristics and knowledge that are incorrect - the problem is that we ourselves do not see this - but rather that the opposite: we are convinced that they are correct and they appear so unquestionably true that we do not think of proving them. We can even construct logical inferences and "prove" their correctness. Our need for fixed frameworks for ourselves means that these perceptions about ourselves are firmly rooted in our own self-awareness.

Roughly speaking, there are 3 different types of interference from bringing about change on a personal level:

We don't really want the change we outwardly appear certain of: for example, we like to smoke or eat, or we feel social insecurity when changing jobs, getting divorced, etc. and resist change. This often happens unconsciously. One must consistently (congruently) want a change;

We must know how to change;

Give ourselves time and a real chance to change.

You must not change your personality. You must change your behavior and thought pattern. You must retain and strengthen your personality. You have to break your life's "script"; you must take a step back, rediscover your original strengths, identify and remove "dross" that has settled like a numbing film on your energy and creativity and that is holding you down.

Examples of typical inner saboteurs:

I'm not good enough

I was born under an unlucky star

I cannot speak in large gatherings

I am unable to give/receive love

I am unable to learn

The imposter syndrome: I have not earned what I have and I will soon be exposed as incompetent

I don't learn well enough

I haven't understood what it's really about

I don't have confidence

I'm selfish and don't really care about others

I am not capable of being good enough

People don't like me

My plan is not good enough

Where do the inner saboteurs come from: When we are children we are totally free of inner inhibitions. We think that we basically know everything and can learn everything. Much is of course unrealistic, but we have a completely open mind in relation to our own ambitions, abilities, characteristics and capacity. Slowly but surely we begin to build a wall around ourselves. Often this happens after responses and impulses from the environment and people close to us. If our parents give us negative feedback like that, they sit firmly in our consciousness and form strong images in our self-awareness.

We need frameworks in our lives - and we search for this. Rules and principles that make our decision-making processes efficient and that help give meaning to life. We collect rules and principles - some more than others. All this is well and good, but it becomes too much. There will be too many rules and we will be hampered - and several of these principles seemed flexible and fine, but we adopted them without checking whether they are true and whether we need them. We don't guard what we let into our heads well enough - we have to - without drowning in self-criticism - question everything new we accept and we have lying in the experience bank it's time to scrap.

It is not a given to define which thought patterns will remain, but negative characteristics about ourselves given by close carers can quickly remain. Repeated negative characteristics given by parents in childhood can remain throughout life. Sometimes we misunderstand: we make concrete time-dependent statements universally valid - and they are never discussed and they remain as workhorses.

Dealing with the inner saboteurs - The way forward It is important that we do not condemn ourselves for having these thought patterns. However, it is possible even to look within ourselves to identify strong negative and inhibiting thoughts that limit ourselves.

We have to practice increasing awareness to better control what enters the brain so that things don't stick; be an active gatekeeper to prevent new limiting thought patterns from taking hold.

It is important that we do not condemn ourselves for having these thought patterns. However, it is possible even to look within ourselves to identify strong negative and inhibiting thoughts that limit ourselves.